"RATS, BUGS, BOYS: ATTACK!"

Instead of using guns and bombs, let's attack the enemies of freedom with bugs, rats, and horny gay men.

That seems to be the sentiment behind a 1994 Air Force proposal, unearthed by bioweapons-watchers at the Sunshine Project.

The document -- entitled "Harrassing, Annoying, and 'Bad Guy' Identifying Chemicals" -- strings together a couple of ideas for non-lethal agents that could mark an opponent, temporarily change his behavior, or "attract annoying creatures to an enemy position."

Were any of these proposals ever approved? I doubt it. But, boy, do I love the idea of Pentagon program managers dreaming up ways to use "sex attractant chemicals for bugs" as weapons. Or employing a "'sting/attack me' chemical that causes bees to attack." Such an agent "would especially effective for infiltration routes," the paper observes.

"Rodents and larger animals would [also] be candidates to be drawn to enemy positions," according to the proposal. So would other "stinging and biting bugs."

But as irritating as a swarm of bees or rats might be, it's nothing compared to the distraction generated by a man in heat. No wonder, then, that the Air Force document calls for "chemicals that affect human behavior so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely effected. One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior."

If, for some reason, military scientists couldn't come up with an effective, sprayable Spanish Fly, well, there are still other possibilities to be explored. For instance: "a low toxicity compound" that creates "severe and lasting halitosis."

Bad breath, in other words.

THERE'S MORE: As if sprays to induce homosexual dalliances and rat attacks weren't problematic enough. In 1997, the Army let loose a proposal, calling for the "preparation of an 'odor index' to match known disagreeable odors to a specific culture, political/religious group or geographical region."

The work looks loving back on a 1944 project, "Who Me," that gave French resistance fighters lead foil tubes, packed with chemicals that produced a "fecal odor." But the plan backfired, this document notes, "when it was found that people in many areas of the world do not find 'fecal odor' to be offensive."

It's one of a number of Pentagon brainstorms, to try to target certain ethnic or geographic groups with non-lethal chemical weapons. The Sunshine Project details more here.

AND MORE: On the Defense Tech forum, reader DB drops some science on the poop-smell project.

AND MORE: These ideas "might not be so far away from reality as [they] might initially seem," the Sunshine Project's Edward Hammond says in the forum.